I should be paying bills right now.
I should be organizing the disaster that is waiting for me downstairs.
I should be doing the new piles of laundry that occurred over the night from my littlest man puking.
There are actually a lot of things I should be doing right now but I am forcing myself to sit here and in the midst of the kids playing, screaming, and fighting (how can they do all three at once??) to sit and write out a few posts that have been on my mind.
Excuse the jumbled up thoughts and possible spelling mistakes. I have been up all night and finally just want to sit and type out the thoughts in my head. (If you make it to the end, you can even read a little section my husband seemed to add when editing my post xoxo)
There is this kind of relief that comes when I sit and write. I am not sure about anyone else but when I am able to sit and type out all that is on my mind, I can then move on rather than let my thoughts build on the constant lists that continue to increase each night while trying to fall asleep.
We all know those lists; the ones that come to our mom-brains and by the time you are so overly tired of thinking about what you should have done; could have done; you finally shut your eyes for that brief moment of silence only to be woken up by one or two kids needing your attention and when that is a success you look at the clock and cannot justify going to sleep by that point and get up for the day.
There will never be enough time to ever get all of the things you wished to do, done in one day. (Unless you are hiding some secrets from us moms that need help- go ahead and share below 😉 )
I read the other day, a talk that mentioned “If we are putting those we love first, then everything else will fall into place.” If you have been following our stories on Instagram you know this year has been one of our craziest years yet. Those who have asked how we have stayed collected through it all know well enough we really were not. Most of the time, you may well know that I am running around for days, forgetting to even put a bra on because the laundry was forgotten the night before. Honestly, I don’t know how we made it through the year with any sanity left, but I know well enough that when I make my kids and family a priority first, things fall into place and will work out.
Before I graduated I was stressed about getting homework done constantly and would try to do it throughout the day while the kids did heaven-knows-what around the house. It didn’t work and quite honestly was more of a nightmare to deal with as opposed to just taking the take-one-step-at-a-time, and dealing with homework later that evening when they were asleep.
Things are going to pile up some days: the dishes, the laundry, the homework, the diapers (hopefully not too much ha) and the constant worry you are not enough. The mom guilt seeps in where it can and will always try to tear a good day apart.
Regardless of the day, or past year, we have continuously seen God’s hand in our lives. When we were told we would have no job, another came through angel neighbors looking out for us; when we had nowhere to live for a short time between finding a rental, more than once we were taken care of this year with a home to stay in, between the transitions.
The nights I was in need of a mom-break from school, the kids and just needing to feel recharged, there were more angels at the door waiting to help.
I know perfectly well that God does not always answer our prayers in the ways we want or hoped for or even when we want it to come right away. But I also know when we worked together and prayed for others, for the patience to get through a long day with the kids, and to continue to have faith in all that happens around us, we will, in time, see what was in store for us all along- with what we were suppose to gain from each experience.
Sometimes that prayer is never answered but we continue pressing on, knowing you are striving to best understand, and to best find the importance in what you are doing each day. It took some time for me to understand why I got answers to prayers that I honestly did not want.
So there will never be enough time in the day to do what you want to do but that does not mean you are not strong enough, organized enough, or even good enough to do so. It means you are making it through another day teaching those you love (and sometimes don’t like so much because they poop and cry a lot) and those lists that we continue to make even if we, as moms, try not to…well sit down and dump it in a journal and move on from that spot, the one you seem stuck in.
Motherhood is not pretty most days; it is messy, full of migraines, and half the time I feel like I am falling apart at the seams and the more kids you have the more outnumbered you may feel, but in the midst of chaos that is called life, you will see some moments sprinkled in the mess you want to remember.
5 Things I am doing this month to have a better day:
Wake up with a grateful heart
Each morning I have been taking what little moment I get alone and praying the day will just work. That we will be grateful where we are, how we got here and that things will work out how they are meant to.
Take the day one step at a time and try again tomorrow
We are going to make mistake after mistake. Just take it as it comes and when all feels like it has fallen apart, take a mom break with a girlfriend and go get dinner or just unwind however you need in order to try again tomorrow. Kids are forgiving and will always give you another day.
Pray with the kids and for the kids
I want so badly to teach my kids the things I want them to learn, implementing a time we pray together is important to me even when we forget because I want them in bed already. But also even after the worst of days, praying for them and for me most importantly to understand how to handle that again tomorrow.
Make time together our priority
Our goal this year has been not finding time but making the time for one another a priority. Family first always.
We were so incredibly taken care of during our time in Texas and the one thing we have found is when we serve others it not only affects others’ lives, but it creates this joy in our home that is contagious. Try it!
There are so many things I should be doing right now, but right now I sat and wrote out my thoughts. I hope in some small way they helped someone but if not, thanks for letting me word vomit out all my jumbled thoughts that have been pressing on my mind lately.
What have you found helps when trying for a better day?
Hello to anyone that reads this post. I am the most grateful husband of Sincerely Rose. To those of you whose spouses are your hero, I write this afterthought. A lot of the time, I am out of the house, and am not around to witness the amazing things that she does for me and my family. She may feel inadequate some days, but even on her worst day, she amazes me. I am the first to admit that I am not great at showing her the appreciation that she needs, so my challenge to you all is to stop what you are doing, and let them know. Write them a text or send them a letter. Tell them you love them, because that may be exactly what they need to hear right then.
Rosie, you are my hero. I love you so much and appreciate everything you do for me. You are the most wonderful woman I am blessed to have in my life. I strive daily to help our children remember how special you are, and how much you do for us. I will love you from forever to forever. You are the reason I get up in the morning and why I try my best to do what is right for you and for our kids. Thank you for being you.