So I guess it is about time I sat down and wrote the good, the bad and the ugly about going from 2 kids to 3. I had this post in mind for sometime but could not justify writing it until I have actually lived with three kids for sometime and got into some sort of groove…HA.
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How we decided to have 3 kids in 3 years?
I will be completely honest here. WE DIDN’T. Yes we always chose to have children and have our plan of when the timeline would be, however those little stinkers came even with birth control and I wouldn’t have changed it any other way. We became pregnant with my oldest and were so excited for this new journey to begin. I never thought we would be having another so soon after her birth. (She was 6 months old to be exact when we found out our little man was coming along).
We were on an IUD right after my daughter and it was the worst thing EVER. They say you do not notice it even being there, but I did. Maybe it was me, but it hurts, and it was just a pain in general to have. So we took it out six months after my daughter and were told “you won’t get pregnant because it takes time to adjust your body getting off of it.” I began birth control right after and 8 (maybe 9) weeks later we found out we would soon have not one but TWO little runts coming to join us. At the appointment we soon had shortly after revealed we had a vanishing twin.
I was at loss for words. We had two then didn’t? I was told, “at least you didn’t miscarry” (who says that to someone?) and it made it worse because I felt like I was not justified in how I felt about the situation. I won’t go into the whole story because I will soon link it HERE. But we did not plan them. They just planned on us.
Two was hard. They were both in diapers, both up at night crying for mom, and both needing one on one attention. It was like have twins that needed the same thing at the same time but at totally different stages. If that makes any sense.
Well fast forward 14 months and the words, “I miss when the kids snuggled me without running away,” came out of my husbands mouth. So in September he got a baby…A puppy. (and let me tell you it is HIS baby). So for two months he had a little snuggle buddy. Then we decided to plan the third. We took the IUD out again and just like before found out 9 week slater our littles peach was coming along. So none of them were truly planned and none were on our timeline, but we love it regardless.
The hardest part about having 3 kids
I honestly felt like I had things under control with two kids. They were crazy, threw tantrums, took naps on time, and had a routine that worked for me. But as soon as #3 happened everything got thrown out the window. When I was feeding her, screaming would break out, fighting over toys, pulling hair, and little fights over silly things like, “he’s looking at me” would happen.
Three months later I have only gone to the grocery store twice with all three. (I am scared out of my mind and have to time it so well to go out!) I could easily do this with two because they both sat in the cart and liked to “help” me put things in the basket. Now? I am lucky to remember a bra walking out the door let alone survive the trip to and from the grocery store with happy kids. (You should see my “if you are good you can have what is in my purse snacks”). Getting anywhere is hard because you have to plan so much for a short time. A packed Diaper Bag is essential.
Getting the kids on a routine again has been hard. I refuse to give up on their nap time/quiet time, because honestly they need it. And I do as well! As my oldest has given up on naps some days we make sure to have her own quiet time with her own special bucket of quiet time games. I listed a few in this post that we have turned to and rotate between for her not to get board during that hour and a half.
While B sleeps, she gets her box out and lays on her rug in the preschool. This is then my time to get a few things done or sometimes I snuggle with both girls and do the quiet box with her. Sometimes i am lucky and all of them crash during the same time and I want to celebrate for a moment of me time. This does not last long. But I relish every minute i have to recharge for when they wake up.
Getting ready has become an all day event here. I have consistently made it each morning into some sort of put together outfit..loving my leggings right now though…But it takes the whole day. When I am REALLY lucky I get up before the kids and do some yoga, put a face of makeup and am ready for what walks out of their bedroom. this meaning the cranky version of the kids or the sweet “I got the best sleep of my life” version. I like the second one personally.
The night time routine has shifted slightly to allow the kids to play a little longer with Dad and then I can get the baby down before they go to bed. This way we can try and put the kids down together, say prayers, read a story, and tuck them in. We try not to change the kids night time stuff ever. It has just been proven here TO WORK. (They still get out of bed a million times ..ok like 10 but it feels like more, and then they crash)
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How I make it through an entire day for MY SANITY with 3 kids
-Morning Activity (could include crafts, playing in the back, walking to the park, play dates with friends, Painting, Side-walk chalk, etc.)
-B goes down for a nap at 10:30 and we then do our versions of Preschool
-Lunch Time /Picnic outside if its nice/ maybe a chic-fil-a run…..
-Caffeine…Dr.pepper has gotten me through some tough days haha
-Driving around until they crash has been our go to on the REALLY bad days.
-Quiet time for E at 3 and nap time for B at 3 also. (He is my best napper usually if we can get his energy out that day!)
-A short movie while mom makes dinner (unless they are helping
-Then we count down the last hour of the day until dad gets here to help distract them more until we start bedtime routines.
How to avoid picky eaters
They are not allowed to be picky. It’s that simple. i have adopted the rule I had growing up to implement with my own kids. It is, you are allowed to have that one item of food you just do not like and if happens to be on your plate that night you do not have to eat it. BUT you have to eat the other items of food that are the sides or whatever it may be. They do not have to eat the whole plate but DO have to eat so many bites. Their food of choice to avoid are tomatoes for E and Bananas for B…So he will eat everything basically ha!
If they have a hard night and cry about dinner, they sit there until they have eaten the amount of bites they need to. There has been a few nights like this but they do not like sitting there being left out of everything after dinner so it usually does not last long.
How to be grateful when surrounded by so much chaos
You have to be grateful. I mean for us, these kiddos happened and some days it is the hardest thing I have ever done. While other days I love having them all so close because of how sweet they are to one another. It has been a hard transition with three. Do I wish they were farther apart in ages?
But I try to find one thing to be grateful for each day, whether it be that they all successfully took a short nap, or one of them finally learned to do something their version of the right way in preschool. Most nights we celebrate we just made that day out alive because of how chaotic and how many of us were bawling that day 😀 There is always something to be grateful for though. I am trying to apply this each day when I am feeling like we are having one of those tougher days with 3 babies.
“There is always, always, always, something to be grateful for.”
So it is hard, but know that we were suppose to have our kids this close and do things the way we have for a reason. In the long run it will make sense but for now I just take each day slow with lots of deep breaths and constantly texting my mom on the rough days (and the good), and if needed run over to a friends for a Pepsi so we both can sit back and act like there are no kids around us (while is reality they are running everywhere playing).
So do you have kids close in age or can totally relate to anything above even with 1 kid!? Let me know how the transition from no kids to 1,2 or more was!
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